Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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