hell yes lets make some ravioli
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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