I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize