i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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