Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize