Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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