Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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