I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there is puke in my bra ... again
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