If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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