Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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