Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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