I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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