i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize