i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The Olympian is in my bed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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