don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Holy sore nipples Batman
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize