i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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