I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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