Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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