This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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