god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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