So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize