Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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