he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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