is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize