you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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