I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
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Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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