Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
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All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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