i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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