I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
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i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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