the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
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the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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