his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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