So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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