I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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