You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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