I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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