Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize