I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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