dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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