Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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