I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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