i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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