There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize