just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So vagazzling was a success
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize