Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How does one acquire holy water?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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