i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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