I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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