Swine flu is the new snow day.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize