Im at strip club and am horny
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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