Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
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And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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