I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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